I Am Not Alone

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2009-09-30T13:33:00.000-07:00

Holiday half gone .
Bore ~
Been mapling since i have nothing to do .
Zz ...
Haiz ...

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2009-08-24T06:51:00.000-07:00

Back to blogging .
Facing a terrible stress , man !
Zz ....

Good thing for the past few days :
-Retake Behaviour Science score 41/50 !
-Dreamt a dream which is quite impossible but it is so wonderful to me if happen =)

Bad thing that is happening :
-A lot until can't explain all .
-2 projects to be done , currently left one . Killing my brain cells man !
-Somehow my wrist is quite painful for the past few days ? No medical history for that . I wonder what happen . Playing bball is a problem now as i cant shoot with my wrist like that , somemore is my right hand . Zz...
-This wed is going to have behaviour science test 2 and i haven't study yet . Test 1 manage to pull through but this one is lack of time ! Crap !
-More or Less are the same .

Zz ....
I think i am going to fail a module .
Zz
To be relistic a bit , currently i am thinking whether i can still go for my BioMedical Science Course in NP .
My mind is thinking ( with the Failing module ) , No i can't .
What can i say .
I am just that irriating .
Haiz ...

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2009-08-10T06:59:00.000-07:00

Very long never post le .
Haiz ...
Quite nothing actually .
Ytd was national day .
And erm , quite nothing liao .
I just need more time to study , zz !

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2009-07-26T10:04:00.000-07:00

Time to post !

Overall this week is just schooling .

Let's Just go through my week .

Monday-Schooling as normal , Went celebrate Wei Hao Birthday at his house .

Tuesday-Meet Yu Hooi and also to pass her the gift i brought for her , a gift to thank her for the lunch she treat .

Wednesday-Schooling as normal , everything as normal .

Thursday-Schooling .

Friday-Extra lesson and discipleship .

Saturday-Church =) . After service , went to raffles place to meet classmate for project . Heard fireworks there . Wanted to see but in the end , can't make it on time .

Sunday-Morning , gym and swim .

That's about it i think .
Tomorrow got school .
Going sleep le .
Byes ~

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2009-07-17T20:04:00.000-07:00

Hahas ... Its sat again !
Next week would be phase test T.T
Zz ...
Anyway , this week i try out the new run (spiritual) .
Fail one day T.T
In case you are wondering what am i doing in the run .
Is just that before going school , do QT first .
Which means i will need to wake at about 4 for this week .
Because of my school , i haven't been doing a QT focus totally .
Always distracted .
Thats why i started to do in morning to reduce distraction .
One word , Hard .
But i believe it is worth it .
This week i hardly see myself tired and sleepy .
Only 1 or 2 lesson .
Which is a good thing for me .

Need to go prepare le .
See yas All =)

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2009-07-09T08:56:00.000-07:00

Haiz ...
Down with Flu and St .
Mc 2 Days .
Which means thur and fri !

When i am not sick , i hope that i am sick .
When i am sick , i hope that i am not sick .
What the crap ~

Nvm .

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2009-07-02T08:52:00.000-07:00

Ytd went sentosa with attachment team .
Quite fun i believe .
Too much to say about it so forget it .

Today went watch transformer with Zul ( not the sec school one )

And for tomorrow , going to unity for fun .
LOL , since i on holiday and i have nothing to do so just go lors .

Somehow , now i feeling weird .
Question like ' what i want ' begin to come .
Which i have no answer to it at all .
What's wrong with me .
Zz .
Seriously , what i want from what i am doing ? Zz ...

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2009-06-29T07:32:00.001-07:00

Time to Post !

Ytd , nothing much , cant consider as boring Sunday ?
Dinner went lot 1 buy with siblings mac ...

For today , more interesting !
Wake at 9.30 prepare then left for city hall at 10 !
Meeting Yu Hooi there because she treating me lunch =)
Thanks her a lot . Cause lunch nice . Cafe Cartel !
Ate from 12.15-1.30 .
LOL !
Then walk around marina square and suntec city .
Until about 2 , then went off from there to MRT as she meeting her friend also .
So went lot 1 and brought a VCD .
Haven't watch yet , watching later .
For your infor , in case you wondering who is she .
She is a staff nurse i know through attachment , my first nurse in-charge of my assignment .
Unfortunately , I never take any photos to put up ! Zz ...

Tomorrow meeting Klai ( Team leader for attachment ) and others at raffles .
Then wed going sentosa with attachment team !
So I am like going town for 2 days .
I only went town less than 10 times since i was born o.O .

This holiday of mine , kind to think of it is half bore half fun .
Can't go out with secondary school friends cause they start school liao -.- !
Haiz , what can i say !

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2009-06-26T19:45:00.000-07:00

Today is Saturday ! =)
Ytd went for BBQ ... Quite fun =)
And on Thursday , i happen to success in what i always afraid to do !
For my skills in this attachment , I got 28/29 skills completed ...
Now is my Holidays !
4 worth happy things happen in just 2 days !
Some more today is Sat !
Hahas ~

What's more I can say ~
WooHoo !

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2009-06-24T08:45:00.000-07:00

I felt so moody after shift today .
Don't know why .
Perhaps something happen ?
I only know because i said wrong things -.- !
I not sure whether i am worry or not cause i still got 2 skill to complete before i can pass this posting .
If fail will need to repeat which is not what i want .
I want to know why I want to know why ! Why i am so moody !
Mainly upset i guess ?
Cause saying wrong things is a very big wrong start to do it .
Arh ! Zz ...
I don't know I don't know I don't know !

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2009-06-23T08:12:00.000-07:00

Posting ~
Last week ...
Somehow i am not really happy about it ...
I once post that i regret not doing it .
Now i have the chance to do it but i don't dare .
I don't have the courage perhaps ? I not sure myself .
Both Ytd and today is a better chance but i did not do it .
The rest of the 3 days may not be easy to do .
Haiz , I don't know I don't know !

Am i confuse ? I don't even know the answer .
If i am confuse , I will also be confuse on how to do it and whether doing it or not .
Chances to do after this week is super low .
As low as 0.0000000001% ...
Random number ~ But seriously will be super hard to get chance in future .

What i am thinking now is to see whether i got opportunity to do or not .
As in total focus/enable to focus that kind of thing .

I Don't Know , I Don't Know , I Don't Know !

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2009-06-19T08:07:00.000-07:00

End of Ward 64 posting .
1 more week of Ward 66 and thats the end of my 1.1 attachment .
Kind to think of it , the first week i was still thinking that it will be long suffering .
But now it is about to end and not suffering indeed .
But instead a period of fun and laughter .
Althrough there is some unhappiness but overall i still think it is fun working with the staff there .
Mostly the staff are friendly and etc =)
Not really what i expected at first .

Tomorrow will be Sat !
Need to get some rest le !
That's all for today =)

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2009-06-17T08:20:00.000-07:00

End of Wed ...
Was debriefed today since its going to be the end of the posting .
And was planned to go sentosa during 2 days of holiday .

Anyway , for the outing with 'Brother' and 'Sister' .

Changed to Tuesday .

Catch a 5.45 at CCK 1 ...

The movie is 'The Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past' ...

Overall the movie is quite ok ...

Walk a while around lot 1 then went yew tee with both of them .

Walk 'Sister home then went yew tee buy some food .

From there dismiss 'Brother' .

Then went Pat/Peg/Pam house to find CC they all .

Sit a while then left le cause they had a movie to catch .

They jio me but i can't afford to go for second one .

So i walked back to CCK while they bused .

Although it's a long trip but i think quite ok since i had nothing to do anyway .

That's about it ~

Talking to Mr LSY now ~

Post again next time ~

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2009-06-13T06:11:00.000-07:00

Just briefing go through my weeks .
Quite a while never post .

Basically , Thur (11th) was on PM duty .
Until 9 then reach home around 10.15 .
Went out again at 10.45 to sec school .
Reach about 11.10 then went in at 11.20 .
Went because of choir camp and wanted to ton .
Went home at about 7+ .
Slept for 2 hours + and went to NUH .
Overslept , wake at the time that i suppose to leave house .
So , father call friend to cab me there .
After the shift , came back home and DOWN !

That's about it actually . LOL ! ~

Can't wait for Monday next !
Cause plan to go out with 'Brother' and 'Sister'
Cause closer than close friend so 'Brother' and 'Sister' lors ...
1 'Brother' and 1 'Sister' !
That day AM shift so still got time to spent with them .
Hahas ~ Can't Wait ~

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2009-06-04T06:33:00.000-07:00

Not planning to say anything about this week attachment .
But only can give this face ' -.- ' ...
I am lacking of sleep . Zz .
Suppose to go RC today but in the end never cause can't go ...
Zz ~
Need to go back school tomorrow for team building .
So will only go ward half-day .
Until don't know what time ~
Haiz , don't think i have any mood to continue ~!

That's all !

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2009-05-31T05:18:00.000-07:00

Long time never post .
Going to post something days ago ~

18 May :
Miss Yappy's Birthday ~
Happy birthday Yappy =)

And for today ~
Wake at 5.40 ( set alarm at 5 =X )
Then went prepare ...
after bath , went review the msg and found out that there is a briefing session at 7.30 !
That time is about 6 le .
Rush to MRT .
Btw , in case you don't know , is CIP that i am rushing to .
7.30 at Bedok .
Reach Bedok is about 7.20 !
Chiong to bus interchange to take bus .
Alighted somewhere which i think is where i suppose to alight .
To be frank , i don't know how to go a first .
Reach that place at 7.45 .
Good thing is that my lecturer is not there yet .

After the CIP , came back change and out again to BP .
Play bball till now .

Today , is a day that last year i always waiting to celebrate as if this day is important .
Kind of look at it now , is it still important ?
I have no idea .

That's all bah ~
See Yas !

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2009-05-23T08:52:00.000-07:00

Long time never post .
Basically is just polyclinic week ...
Saw Zi Yang on thurs .
Someone who is my classmate when i sec 4 .
He is here for consultation .
And erm ....

One more thing is that .
My lecturer , CP lecturer and staff nurses from CCK polyclinic .
Suspect that my problem is palpitation .

Will see doctor if happen again .
Erm !

That's all i think !
Oh Ya ~
I have only 1 week june holiday T.T ~

Erm ... ok
That's all !

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2009-05-15T12:40:00.000-07:00

Its a sat morning whereby the sky is dark !
LOL

Actually to be frank with whoever that is reading , which i don't think there is ?
I learnt a lot this week ~

To start off , i kind of miss talking to the one who help me create this blog ~
My sis been asking me to change the blog skin .
But i said 'no' .
Because this is more than a blog skin that is here , its a friend help ~

About today , i went play bball with Joel and Darius , and Vidas who soon came .
Played a while at lum soon , went sunshine to join some other people .
Ricky , Grayson , Yvonne , Olivia and Pamela .
After a while , Rain came ~
Stay at the bus stop while Joel and Vidas went off .
Soon , Went join the group under a blk .
went back playing once the rain is slightly better .

To be frank , i have been experiencing some things in me .
Before i even walk towards the blk , like usual my heartbeat went fast .
I took my own pulse after settling down on the seats .
My pulse was like 129 ? (in case you don't know, normal rate for adult is 60-100 only)
I try feel my apex beat , the rhythm is fast ~
Before that i did not play at all cause the moment i reach , it rains .
Experience it the moment that i stand up at the bus stop trying to walk over .
Been experiencing this for quite a while that count by months .
And my skin been very red ? lols ~Don't know how to explain .
Just weird ~

Even now i just felt that some pain in my body near the stomach ...
Haiz ~ What's wrong with me .
But its okay !

To be honest ~
IF i were to be gone next day , i don't think i would have any regrets ~
Because i have overcome what i should done 3 months ago ~
So now i am rather felt more calm now ?
If want to count the regrets that i did not do , Thats a lot .
But mainly is that i would go without any .
Hahas ~

And lastly about today , i am a guy that is very sensitive to words/language .
Can say that i am very hurt by some of these people .
Think is that these people don't know that it is hurtful to me ?
Believe so .

I shall not continue about today , quite nothing after that ~

Over this week , i learnt a lot a lot !

Watched X-Men with some area brothers and sisters .
Very enjoyable day !
What i learnt ?

Here goes :
Everyone has his/her own will of what to do and what to not do .
His/Her way is only by his/her decision which will eventually lead to a result .
To think twice before you act !
I do not know my way but to let God guide me is always a better solution than using own strength .
To be happy with what you have and not to be demanding to others .
Consequence must always be think about when making a decision .

And more ~~~ but now quite tired so can't think .

Roughly is about it .

2 more days to polyclinic posting .
Been posted to CCK polyclinic ~

I really want to work in that ward again T.T
But that is not possible with my current situation .
One regret never do is that to stay in contact with closer ones .

Alright , time to go sleep .

May my soul goes to God when its time but not just looking at my recent body problems .

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2009-05-13T12:04:00.000-07:00

Sorry for not been updating ! ~
Cause nothing to pot i think ~
Next week resume attachment , starting with polyclinic .

For today , Watched X-Men at lot 1 with some area members .

Nothing to post !
Going to sleep le bah ! ~
Lastly is erm , I Miss The Ward Staff T.T !

After polyclinic will be ward 64 , so not going back 66 anymore T.T ...

Hope can see the staff even when i am at ward 64 ?
Don't know how but hope at least can talk a bit again ?
LOL

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2009-05-09T10:24:00.000-07:00

Alright ~
A short post !
Today was my first day being a usher !
Was very nervous at first .
But overall was ok i think ~
Hahas ~

Tomorrow will be going gym and swimming with others .
hope can wake !
Lol !

And Lastly , I Miss The Ward Staff Badly T.T !
Nothing I Can Do About It !

That's all .
Got to go sleep !

CYH =)

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2009-05-07T11:58:00.002-07:00

Just receive a msg from my cp teacher saying that ,
Now school declare holiday until 25 may then go back school .
Looks like i am not going to NUH anymore for this term ~
Sian .
And i am so going to miss the staff that chat with me during my shift ?
I am so going to miss them .
What can i do ? Nothing ~
Sian ~
Holiday would be fun but kind to think of it .
This holiday will not be .

Anyway ,
Think a lot today ~
Realize that i regretted 'not doing it' more than 'doing it' .
A lot of people say that they regretted doing this and that .
But i think i regretted not doing this and that .
My past is full of that ~
Regret not studying seriously is one thing ~
Super sian diao ~
Only can lift up my future to God now =)

All The Way ~

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2009-05-05T12:56:00.000-07:00

I back again ~
Bore as always .
Ytd was the most ps thing i done ?
Went ward as normal .
But this time no student ...
Went staff room , no bags also ...
Called my teacher and said this week no attachment due to the flu !
Zz ...
Was not inform i said .
She found out that my hp number in profile was wrong .
So did not receive the msg .
Z Z Z Z
Looks like that's the end of my wonderful ward/time ?
Looks like it though .

For today , Erm ...
Nothing special ?
All the way home ~
Only something different .
A stupid dream in the morning which i believe will never happen !
LOL

That's all ~
Hahas ~

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2009-05-03T09:03:00.000-07:00

Sunday Again ...
Going back feeling is back ~~~
Almost the whole day , i at home accept for buying dinner at lot 1 that is ~~~
Was plannin to go gym Ytd but can't wake this morning ...
Sian ~
Hope the don't flash red so fast until end of week at least ?
Hahas ~

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2009-05-01T09:03:00.001-07:00

Hahas ~
Forget to post Ytd !
Nvm ...
I post now ~
Ytd can consider one of my joyful day ?
I think .
Manage to do what i fear to do at first .
Lol ~

For today ~
Went sentosa for area outing ~
Never went down water of cause .
Don't wish to get sun burnt too much .
If not will be less immune to illness on monday when going back hospital .
But still get a bit somehow ~
Never dinner with the others cause this week i don't have enough money to do that le .
Came home then and soon went out again ! Lols .
Went downstairs , he nearby park to do some running .
Since i realize that i been weaken over the years .
Time to train a bit? Lols .
Chiong running with sis and do pull up until can't , includes incline pull up .
Planning o join the run for 5km .
Will ask father whether i can join or not .
Hope can ~~~

Decided to train from now onwards ~

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2009-04-25T10:03:00.000-07:00

Sat had just came to an end ...
Was ask to join usher ...
Shocked .
No idea whether to go for it or not .
But my name was in even before i can say anything .
See how bah ...
Let God guide my way !

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2009-04-24T11:11:00.000-07:00

WeekEnd is here again ...
End of week 2 !
Somehow not very happy about it ...
Maybe because of time reducing every single day ?
But i am happy of one thing is that tomorrow is sat !
Only day of the week that i can see bros and sis .

Haiz ... quite empty in mind now ...
Nothing else to blog about .

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2009-04-22T09:46:00.001-07:00

Received a msg ytd saying Choir got a sliver for this year syf !
Not bad ~ lols ...
Congratz sister and the others =)

A bit info about today ...
Very restless in ward most of the time ...
Don't know why , perhaps because of my sleep ?
Cause last night i wake up almost every single hour ...
No sure the cause also ...
Just hope that tomorrow will be better cause tomorrow i in afternoon shift again .
Hahas .

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2009-04-21T08:38:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow i will be doing afternoon shift -.-
I prefer morning thought ...
Will be like taking train there and during the trip , people will be like pointing and saying -.-
Felt that they don't know that nurses are important also ...
Nvm ...
Been rather bore and sian thinking that my team going other ward soon .
Time going so fast ! ( Actually is quite fast , not 'so fast' )
My attachment been quite ok since i have 17 out of 29 signatures for the skills .
If you are wondering what is that .
You need to complete nursing skills with AN or SN . Assistant/Staff Nurse .
Then canget signatures from them after that if free .
Most of the time are usually before i go off then ask cause the ward is always busy ...
Need 75% of the signatures in order to pass ...
So now i think i got at least 50% ?
Still got 7 weeks of attachment left ...
So not bad ! lols ...
2 weeks - 50% , like chiongster ...
Know quite a number of nice staffs
-AN -U , M
-SN - D , M , C
Shortform for their names ...
Too lazy to type ~
But of cause my CP teacher also very nice =)
Ms Pearl ...
Although bad things been happening , but looks like i have nice people around ...
Will comfirm miss working with them after leaving the ward ...
Hahas ...

Going sleep now ~ late le ~
Byes !

2009-04-18T12:24:00.000-07:00

First week of attachment had came to an end .
Was thinking that i am only going to stay in that ward for 4 weeks .
Was rather got a feeling of 'Don't Want Change T.T' !
The SN and AN very nice ...
After that 4 weeks will be changing ward ...
Seriously i would choose to stay in that ward instead of changing .
Will miss the ward staff after change ! ( Comfirm )
T.T !
What can i do ? nothing ~ Zz ...
3 more weeks to go T.T ... No ! ~~~
How that i can have more time in the ward ?
Hahas ~~~ Hard Lors -.- I must be dreaming !
Now i can only treasure the time i have in this ward , That's all i can do for now !?

Pissed

2009-04-16T08:52:00.000-07:00

Pissed for today !
Lost another $25 in hospital -.-
Still thinking how to give for offering this sat ! ...
Zz ...
Haiz ... =(
Even my GPA is only 2+ ...
Calculated that i need to get at least 3.6/7 for the rest of the term to get 3.5 overall ...
Its going to be hard hard hard i can say -.-

Term 1 GPA

2009-04-13T02:47:00.000-07:00

Received my result last week for term 1 .
Around GPA of 2+ ...
Exam result is a bit unexpected ...
Shall not elaborate more ...
Calculate wrongly -.-
Haiz .. Very disappointed and discourage by it .
Feeling a bit hopeless now cause result so noob ...
Haiz ! .

Attachment Starts

2009-04-12T15:57:00.000-07:00

End of holidays ! .. Zz ..
Currently its morning , waiting for father to wake and bring me over to NUH .
Long time never post so decided to post a bit before leaving .
Feeling a bit nervous and afraid .
First time doing this ...
Hope it will not be as bad as i thought it would .
Hahas =)

Been A Long Time

2009-03-31T10:45:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since i last post .
Since on holiday ...
Never go for Class BBQ(27 March) , So sorry ...
Went to a workshop the next day .
Though that i was late , in the end reach on time . LOL !
While waiting for teacher to come , saw grace wearing school uni walking towards .
Was shock at first , soon found out that she is going the same workshop as me .
I think i know why only leaders was told to go for this workshop .
Because there i only limited spaces .
Rush back to church , take MRT then bus from clementi .
Reach before service start =)
But grace told school bus and cab , reach 2 mins before me .
Hahas ...

Reached home and see what i have in the goodie bag given .
Maggi mee packet , cereal drink packet , a packet of food drink with malk and some other some things .
The things given a bit ...
Nvm ...
Still got a 1 and half weeks to go .
Kind to think of it , it is not long anymore .
Finishing .
Going NUH for attachment when school start .
Still not sure how to go but bo bian must check le .
Haiz , Sian .

Sentosa Outing

2009-03-17T11:03:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow morning , going for a sentosa outing with cell group .
Hope will be an enjoyable one .
No one knows what will happen .
I only know that if rain , one word to say 'sian' .
I know God will bless us de bah .

Today went for PM(prayer meeting) .
Been so long since i went .
Decided to go for bass and be a bassist .

Ask Wei Hao to help ask if his workplace need help .
At least if can , i would like to work instead of rotting at home .
To earn some money to get a bass for myself .
Hope i can at least work for about 2-3 weeks ?

Hahas , Thats all .
God bless !

Feelings

2009-03-16T09:09:00.001-07:00

I don't know whether i am angry or sad now .
I don't really recall when is the last time i am very happy .
Think at least 1 year + back ?
At least that time , with some people went pulau ubin , quite fun .
Riding bicycle around the island without any destination and etc .
Then is 2 years + back le , whereby having discipleship at vivo with the leaders that time .
Still can recall that we have dinner at the rooftop .
And played ice breaker games and etc .
2 years + again , have chalet with cell group .
Have the whole night playing games and etc .
The rest , i don't really remember .
Some i still remember but just that i not enjoying that much .
I can say that last year there is a lot of happiness but now i look at it , its just nonsense ?
Don't know how to say it but just giving example like nonsense .

Don't know when can i have another happy things like that .
And this physical happiness at usually up to 24 hours only .
Even recently the outings is aim for evangelistic one .
So must plan to do certain stuff only , althrough is not i plan but just erm ... (Don't know how to say it)

Nevermind ...

Attitude

2009-03-16T06:00:00.000-07:00

So , sharing your current 'happiness' to my sis arh ?
Let me say this one last time , do not come in contact with my family .
Even if my siblings find you , do not reply .
I don't wish to see you destroy the people around me because of you .
You have bring enough nonsense and have destroy my future .
Of cause , you won't feel guilty because you do not know why .
And think that its because i anyhow say isn't it ?
I know you well enough .
I don't want to explain why , therefore DO NOT CONTACT ANY ESPECIALLY SIBLINGS .
You want to do whatever with your ..
Don't need to share .
Share to your family , don't need to share to my family .
If you want to know why , tell me instead of my siblings .
Since my future has already destroyed by you .

Feeling

2009-03-13T04:46:00.000-07:00

Saw your new post and SM .
Things may be getting better for you but its not for me .
The song that you post tells your mood but the words tells what i want to say .
Nvm . The reason why i am so sarcastic is because i want you not to care about me anymore .
You will only make my condition worse .
Even the friend that you ask to pass msg , agree that i should do this .
IF your hiccup is trying to say about what i am doing .
I letting you know why am i like that .
You can go ask the friend that you pass msg of .
She will tell you the same .
And whatever i ask , you won't be able to do it also .
Therefore , i trying to be like this so that you won't not 'care' about me anymore .
Even if anything happen , it has nothing got to do with you also .

(Get this right and stay out of my problem ! You have given enough so stay out !)
This is to be sarcastic so as to remind you not to 'care' about me anymore .

Help ?

2009-03-11T09:13:00.001-07:00

Help ?
Trying to help me ?
Whatever i ask , you will help ?
Anything , look for you ?
I don't think so .
I ask , you can't do it , confirm .
Already the very first promise for this year , you can't fulfill .
Look for you enjoying your time with that guy ?
Want to help me ?
I have loss ALMOST EVERYTHING .
Can you help me ?
No , you can't .
Or are you trying to pity me ?
I have left with God , family , Christian friend , some juniors and current friends .
Thats all .
Don't try to be a 'know it all' person .
Your help is VERY limited , or even can't help .
Don't even dare to tell me yourself .
Need someone to pass msg ?

Know your limites .

Holiday

2009-03-09T18:44:00.000-07:00

After Exam and Briefing today , i can declare holiday le !
But somehow i am not very excited about it .
Maybe because i don't know who to spend with ?
1 day of it spend with my clique , 1 day of spend for AHS ,
1 day of it spend with cell group (outing) .
(If i miss out any , pls tell me !)(If there is any that is)
Only got 3 days out of the 4 weeks and half holiday ?
Maybe got 2 days go back unity but still at least got 4 weeks .
How to spend ?
Perhaps maybe last time i would know who to spend with but now NO .
Not at all .
Nvm , too naive .
4 weeks is like so long .
About a month .
Even if i were to go find vidas learn ELG .
But also can't be everyday ...
One word to describe , SIAN .

1 john 1:9

2009-03-08T10:09:00.000-07:00

1 John 1:9 = If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Horrible Basketball

2009-03-08T07:06:00.000-07:00

Went play play basketball since i no mood to study also .
Father drive me to yew tee .
When i was at the escalator , going up .
Saw her and her new guy .
She comfirm never saw me .
But i can recognise her from the back .
Went to the staircase with memories .
A bit spoiled mood after a while and went for basketball with others .
Apologize to King Ngee if i have spoil your mood .
Went to the staircase again with kenneth accompany .
And went home by MRT .
Can see that she is still the same , open and etc .
But what can i do or say ?
Walked to lum soon with kenneth .
Play soccer a while .
Then went dinner with him .
Saw Yi Wen , and chat a while .
Went back lum soon for a while basketball .
And here i am at home blogging out what i felt today .
Today is just pure hurtful and etc .
A lot of people advice to move on but now i currently have no goals and therefore can't move .
Seriously i felt very suk now .
I really hope to go back to time and change everything T.T
BUT WHAT CAN I DO ?
Saw her is like very ... for me to start of the day .

Boring

2009-03-07T10:44:00.001-08:00

Seriously i felt that my weekdays are just pure boring !
Go school , study , go home , read , sleep for five days !
Zzzz !
During the week , only sat and sun most fun !
The rest are just pure boring .
I rather do back i am doing than having the plain/boring weekdays .
To have worry than i may be having stress .
But i now i don't think so at all !
I want to do back .
But i can't choose ?
Especially when i have lost my best friends .

Even recently , found out something that i never expect to be so fast .
I destroyed my life with my own hands .
Not treasuring what i suppose to when i have the chance .
Myself and people around me .
But what can i do now ?
Nothing ?

When teacher help me to go up sec 3 and 4 .
I did not treasure and continue to slack .
Which end up like what i am now .
Friends that continue to be with me and offer help .
Did not treasure and take things for granted .
Which end up no chance to be with them now .
Best friends that given chance one by one to me to change for the better .
Did not treasure and continue to do the same way that i do .
Which end up leaving me .

Even during worship today , i recognise this and felt so ...
Cried and knee down .
Only that period of time , i know that the cause is about me .
Not any other people but just me .
To be able to understand the cause now .
But what can i do now ?
I have no idea .

Even if i say i don't want this boring/plain weekdays i having .
But i have no choice .
What i have today is what i done with my own hands .
I can blame no one but myself .

Now currently , i have no motivation but only one .
To aim , go biomedical science with GPA 3.5 and above to either np or rp .
But if i got the chance i would want to go np cause more easier to go from my house .
If not , rp will be fine .

But WHAT CAN I DO NOW ?
I HAVE NO IDEA !

I been having all this thoughts with me but i don't want others to see .
Therefore i can only be smiling every time ?
No one realize it i think ?
Nothing change therefore i think they don't .

I just blog my thoughts and what i really felt .
No offense .
Cause i have no other place to shout it out .
Seriously , i really felt VERY empty , unhappy and etc .
I don't know how long i can be smiling towards others .
Since i been forcing myself to be different from outside .
So just hope that i can force my way though the whole of this period which is about 2 years ?
Still long , long , long ...

Somethings i really don't understand .
Think it will not go on forever then whats the point to start off ?
To hurt the people involved ?
Nevermind .
But the thing is do i really don't mind ?
I can say but i can't do .

Weird

2009-03-06T09:18:00.000-08:00

Haiz...
During this period of time from thursday to saturday , i would tend to be doing something .
But i no longer doing anything .
Feeling very weird without doing what i use to do .
Very sian .

Done a LOT of self-reflection since the start to this year till now .
First time reflect so much .

Now i am like just go school , come back read a while of textbook .
Thats it my day has ended .
Is it a good thing or a bad one ?
Don't know the answer .
This sequence has been going on for 2 months weekdays .
Think will last 2 years ?
Hope not .
Hope that i can do the same thing as i done last time ?
Even different things also can .
I can't be motivated without doing anything .
Currently my life is just plain because of the sequence .

Nursing Paper

2009-03-05T07:17:00.000-08:00

Zzz !
Got back nursing paper .
Only scored 30/50 .
Was expecting about 35 ?
Sian .
Speechless

First Time

2009-03-03T08:11:00.000-08:00

Yesterday , Because of diarrhoea , went home after 1 hour lesson .
Eventually went back unity in the afternoon .
Played with my friends basketball and went choir after that .
Took testi and cert , went off with Darius for dinner .

FIRST TIME I CAN'T FINISH MY FOOD !

What is happening to me ?
Worry too much ?

Perhaps now i don't have to .
She don't want to care being friends anymore !
Is it a good thing or a bad thing ?
Been feeling weird for past 2 weeks .
My feeling was right !
Happy or Not ?
To think i have not be happy since Mid Feb .
Think i would worry more ?
I don't know .

Just hope that something would happen to change everything around ?

I got a feeling that i am going to be negative like how i am last time .
Hope is not true .
Regretted the decision made with my friends in secondary school .
Taking things for granted !
7 Goals that i set when sec 1 , only 1 success ! The rest failed .

SPEECHLESS !

Can say that this period of time , i really need comfort and care and everything can be think of .
Honest speaking .

Felt like crying everyday even since start of the year ?
God been helping but i can't hold myself .
I am too WEAK !
Nvm , Thats it .

Last thing to say is that my bio test 2 , i get 43 half / 50 !
I happy for a period of time and thats it .
Haiz ...

Nothing Can Help ?

2009-02-20T20:24:00.000-08:00

Was walking Around Tampines the shopping centers while waiting for CC to call me .
Meeting him st bugis therefore decided to wasting time in tampines .
Bring a lot of memories in that place .
Felt very regretted ? i suppose .
Waslking in a place where i don't want to be alone at .
Remembered the rushing of time from tampines to airport to see the choir members .
But was too late that time .
And a lot more , i really hope to have all these sweet memories back happening again ?

Haiz...I know you still got contact him and therefore i would not say anything .
Late reply at 1+am show me that you are chatting with him like what we do last time .
But nothing can change everything .

I think i should not joke anymore .
Perhaps being quiet and listen is a better choice to joke around .
Joking to me is just to let me have a period of time , to not be remind of the unhappiness .
But to think , if people don't understand why am i talking so much crap .
Then only by that mindset , will only bring wildful thinkings of my nonsense , and cause unhappiness .
And therefore , i think keeping quiet is a better choice to me .
Although it is not my style and it would be hurtful to me being reminded of unhappiness .
I still think it is a better way .
It's been very long since i last really be happy i can say .
For now , i can only walk-one-step-count-one-step ( in Chinese ) .
There is nothing i can do .

Yes , i now is walking in spiritual higher in steps and everything .
Being able to be like last time , standing film in everything .
Being quiet and let God change me to become one .
For this cell group , i must change to be quiet asap .
Last night , when i reach home , i was thinking that maybe it is better for me to go to the other small group ? which is easier for me to commiuncate there ?
I don't know .
personally , i think Wei Hao has been a good discipler to me .
Now , i am very confuse i shall say .
If i want to stay , i should change to quiet person myself .
If i want to joke , i should change small group to prevent hurting others .

I Don't Know !

Reflection

2009-02-19T05:10:00.001-08:00

Time to update a little bit .
Was doing QT while listening to music on train .
Randomed got this song , Mighty to save .
Was quite a touching song .
Been a while since i listen to this song .
Somehow , i just felt that its time to reflect on myself .
Reflection about me , friends and etc for those who going farther from me .

Reflection made :

Wei Yang-Was once my disciple but i can tell you that i did not spend too much time with him . And a question for me is , ' what kind of disciple am i ' . For now , he been transfer to another cell group which is CS group . For my mistake , i will try to talk to him .

Xin Shen-A best friend of mine since sec 1 . Now is like no contact at all . Even since he change class in sec 3 , we hardly be that close and therefore , not best friend anymore . Now he is in sec 5 , preparing for O's . For me , i have left the school . Hope everything can change or go back to sec 1 ? This is my mistake for not treasuring a friend .

Wilson-A friend of mine since primary 5 ? Still in contact but a lot of time , is either you free or i free nia . Never get a chance to go out with . Miss the times that we have fun . Hope that there is still chance for us to go out together sometimes ?

Darius-A friend of mine , know him when he join us in sec 3 . Was looking at him , familiar look , though that i seen him before . Found out that we are in same church . Lols . But he is also preparing for sec 5 and i hardly talk to him due to my school schedule . Never get to play basketball like last time , spending time after school , going home together , sharing personal stuff about ourselves and everything . But there is nothing i can do now , the fact that i have left unity , hope everything can be back to where and when it started .

Jesslyn , Carresa , Evie-A group of junior of mine in choir . A nonsense bunch of people who talk a lot of crap during choir . Enjoyed the time i have with them and some other people to sentosa . But now i actually have no time to go back to unity and visit them anymore . Long time never heard their voice ... Hope that i can have time to go back ?

Sarah Liu-A junior of mine in choir and sister =) Been encouraging me ever since i left unity . But i dare not disturb her so much cause she taking O's this year and therefore whenever i want to talk to her , i tell myself that i should not do that . And i recall that when i around sec 2 or 3 ? I am very unreasonable to her and still she cares for me =) Just hope that i have time to go back visit the choir again .

Lexus The-A same age as me guy who is also a choir member in unity . Now he is in JJC . At least i can tell you that he is a nice guy =) Because after choir , me and xs will tend to play basketball together before going home . He would spend some time with us playing even though he don't know how to play . Hope that there is time for us to play again .

King Ngee-A friend of mine in unity , he is in the other class which is just next door . A nice guy , who is willing to help if necessary . Although he talk a lot of nonsense sometime but he is still able to see when is serious and when is not . Not contacting each other anymore . But hope we can and meet out sometime ?

Norman-A tall friend of mine , classmate . Although sometimes he keep talking nonsense , making me piss . But he is still quite a good friend to me . Still remember that time that we went Vietnam for hum trip . Have fun the last night . Hope to play basketball together sometimes ?

Last but not least :

Mad-A best friend of mine , tend to talk personal toward each other almost every night ? Night chatting . Quite close but now she went JJC and did not contact me at all since the start of this year . Only at times that i msg you , then you reply . But this is unlike you that it took you so long to reply and everything . You have changed even since i know you which is in sec 2 . Yes , i know that i been very unreasonable with you but now , i can only hope that you can come back ? You have gone , have gone , gone .

God-A friend of mine since the day i accpeted christ into my life which is 27 Janary 2007 ! He still care for me but last month , i was very wildful to him . Doing what i do before i accpet him that time . All the bad thing which would harm the body ? Not emo ... But now i know that the friend who will never leave me is God . Love him =)

This is all that i reflect , hope i never miss out anything ?
Most of them here , have already left my life .
I would want to go back sec 1 again and change my doings !

Restless?

2009-02-09T06:27:00.000-08:00

Leaving school today in the morning .
While wearing shoes , felt very restless as if my whole body is running out of energy .
Don't know what happen .
Felt very weird today .
Partly is because of her perhaps its been a long time since i last talk to her face to face .
Missed her , i shall say .
But i can't do anything to change the fact now .

When i was young , i always wanted to go JC .
But now you are in JC and i am not .
You in your fav JC which is JJC , that you also hope for .
Now you get your wish , but i don't .
Just hope that my nitec path would go well .
Now i am just feeling empty !

AHS Student Leader

2009-02-04T05:21:00.000-08:00

Today lesson quite slack !
Due to Bio test first thing in the morning .
So teacher give chance , go 'easy' ...
Dismiss early by 30 mins ...
But it is the make up lesson so makes no different but only lesson extra 30 min !
Quite a lot of things happen today .
Shall not say the negative things but one of it is today really miss that person ...

But got one thing that i don't know whether is it a good thing or bad thing .
I was chosen to be the AHS student leader in my class .
Me and another classmate .
Was chosen last week , but i blur blur don't know .
My teacher , she was announcing before lesson last week .
Then said to pick 2 person .
This 2 person need to have integrity and honesty .
Then i was like thinking that it would not be me , and not really listening actually =X

She continue saying that there will be a upcoming event , when teachers is not around , these 2 person will be the one passing the msg given by the teachers to the class . This is the basic job .

She said something like that .
But what i heard is that there will be a upcoming event and to pass msg to the class when teacher not around .
Thinking that it is just for that event only !
No one raise their hands for it .
So she decided to choose , somehow chosen me and the whole class agreed -.-
This is what happen last week about it .

Today , went ask about this , she said that passing msg is only a basic job .
At that point of time , i was like ' What You Mean?! '
she continue saying that i was chosen to be the AHS student leader , and in the class committee now . Only that i never brief on what to do .
I was like 'Erm .... ? '
I asked , not only for that event , she say no lars ...
'Shocked' and 'speechless' ...

In case you are wondering .
AHS = Applied Health Science .
Meaning i am a student leader in the AHS section .
First time taking a important pose .
Hope everything will went well , which i think with God around , it will went well .

Thats all !

Last sentence , I can't forget you and keep thinking of you . Always felt empty when that happen . Hope you would come back again . But i don't know whether is it possible .

Empty?

2009-02-03T06:07:00.000-08:00

Ok ! Sorry for not updating for quite a while ...
Been studying cause every week got test then need to study ! Z...
Tomorrow is my first Bio test , hope everything went well !

As the days goes , every morning and saturdays .
I would ask God to fill my heart !
On weekdays , after he filled .
It would be empty again in the afternoon !
On sat , would be empty on sunday afternoon ...
Perhaps i am just to empty ?
I not sure !
Now i am just study , worry , stand film .
Everytime without fail , you would come to my mind and i would be empty .
Regretted my actions on nov and dec 08 !
Haiz , i can't change anything now ...

All i can say is I Missed You !
Missed the happiness we had and everything , chatting , everything that we done together .

Perhaps its too late to say this now !

Just hope that God can help me all the way which i believe he will !

Biology

2009-01-15T05:47:00.000-08:00

First Bio theory class today ...
A lot of my classmates think the class very sian but somehow to me is intersting ... =)
Bio rocks ? Hahas =)
Even through i only have basic bio during sec 2 ...
But i am going to study hard to get a good grade for bio =)

My classmate quite a number of them is social one ...
Ate lunch with a group on second day ?
Woohoo =)

Can't continue le ... have to go sleep if not can't wake at 5 !
See yas =)
I Love Bio !

Thx God for the success in transfer =)

Transfer

2009-01-14T04:55:00.000-08:00

Went interview today at simei , cause receive a call from them to go for interview by 12 .
Asked Wei Hao to accompany me ! =X
Reach there around 11.30 ?
Took the interview and was asked to wait for result for about 30 min .
Ate lunch there , the carteen there like food court -.-
Went back for result , said that i have success in transfer ! ...
Went class straight for lesson ! like so chiong ?
Wei Hao have to go since he not studying ...
Student there quite nice =)
Was shy to go in class that time ...
After that , went for a talk ...
Second talk of the year -.-
First is central now is east ...
Was told to bring lots of things tomorrow and lesson at 8 in morning !
Need to sleep early le !
Byes =)

Appeal

2009-01-10T10:39:00.000-08:00

First week of school !
Went all the way to yishun -.-
Ez-link really Ex lors ...
Need to wake earlier than before ! ...
Hope to go back sec 4 back can't ...
Now only can hope my apply of transfer success !
To simei !
You may think that i siao ... but only there , have the course that i want !
So i don't mind going to far for it =)
For yishun , its not bad .
Only that i don't really intersted in the course given !
But if it is by God's will , then i will do my best for it .
End of jan , Result released .
If fail , then is God's will for me to be in yishun =)

Thank You For Everything , God =)

Most Unhappy Thing Have Happen

2009-01-03T10:53:00.000-08:00

Don't really expect it to happen but it has happen ...
Was on the phone when moving towards roof top for dinner after service ...
Talked 33 mins , and gone ...
Was very unhappy after the phone call and just stare into the sky looking out from the roof top ...
Wei hao came over and asked me what is the problem ...
Because i don't usually stand in a place for so long even after phone ...
Cried after that ...
Loss a BEST FRIEND !
1 by 1 , my friend are going away ...
Very lost and sad ...
Cried for quite a while in the roof top ( public )
Only certain people saw ...
Don't know at this point , i should be laughing or crying ?

Thx Sarah for the encouragement through msg ...

Looks like i have no more friends that i can jio to go out ...

New Year

2009-01-01T11:00:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year Everyone !

Next monday start course !
Aim 3.5 and go poly in 2010 !

But i got a weird feeling about 2009 !
Don't know why ...

Nvm ...
A short post !

Been very distracted by things lately and recently facing friends problem ...
Don't know what to do le ...
Haiz ~!

Anyway
Have A Blessed New Year =)

Before Camp

2008-12-28T04:10:00.000-08:00

Going for CCA Camp tomorrow !
My arm not healed yet ...
Approach a doctor on friday and i just found out that it is so serious T.T
May cause death T.T
For my course , bo bian going for the stupid electronics !
Zzzz ...

New Goal :
3.5 For GPA !

Then can go poly =)

Going to ton in camp =)

Nothing much ... =)

Ton And Dinner

2008-12-25T07:17:00.000-08:00

All right ! Merry Christmas Everyone =)
Went to CCK MRT to meet luke , Estee and Nicole at LRT platform ...
Took LRT to segar and went to the Zheng hua community club trying to buy some drinks ...
I run first cause if don't have then don't have to go so far for the others ...
Reached there and saw all shops are closed T.T
Saw a guy went in through a door , so i went in to see ( curiosity ) ...
Its a kopitiam -.- Ok took them there and buy drinks =)
Went meet Alicia Pig at LRT ...
Firstly Luke and i was shouting PIG outside the LRT to see whether she blur or not ...
But instead a DUCK reacted XD ! Which is Wei Hao ! ...
Waited for Solomon king ... Ya He is Late -.-
Went to Alicia House , Saw Sis Vivian , Qi Jun , Xiao Qi And Lastly Chow Chin in the living room ...
Watch Final Destination 3 ... About roller coaster ... Never watch before the 1 and 2 -.-
In the middle of the show , A Manly person appear , Jia Qi with one of her friend ...
Next watching a horror show which is a bit lame ... Don't know the title ...
Lastly is a comedy , The Date Movie ...
Playing cheat with them ...
Soon , at 4+ , Sis Vivian and Wei Hao want to leave already ...
Wonder how Wei Hao go home without LRT or BUS ...
Went to the nearby basketball court with the rest of them ...
Playing basketball , and badminton ...
Went back at around 7+ , I fell asleep Zzzz ...
Wake at 10+ , Saw some still sleeping and some already playing poker cards ...
After a while , all wake up except for ONE !
ITS CHEN CHOW CHIN ...
Not in the living room that time ...
Asked where is he , He is sleeping on Alicia bed ... Hahas ...
Luke took toothpaste and want to put in on his face , he wake and went back sleep ...
Luke think that since he is awake already , then just put it on the side can le ...
Soon , he wash up and went off because he have discipleship later on ...
Leave her house at 1+ with the others to fajar mac for lunch ...
Went off after that with Luke , Estee , Qi Jun , Nicole ...
Alight at south view and went home , Soon doze off until 5+ to prepare for the dinner -.-

Thx For The Fun Over The Night !

People Involved :

Sis Vivian
Wei Hao
Luke
Chow Chin
Estee
Nicole
Alicia
Jia Qi
Qi Jun
Xiao Qi
Solomon

For dinner :

Went a restaurant in Jurong ... Reached at about 7+
Reached home at 11+ !
Quite nothing to blog about actually ... -.-

As for Tomorrow :

Going see a doctor in the morning ...
Mother bring me there ...
High chance to get injection ...
Hope it can be healed cause feeling very pain and terrible now T.T

Merry Christmas To All And A Happy New Year =)

Christmas Eve

2008-12-24T07:26:00.000-08:00

Today is Christmas Eve ! ...
In 30 mins time , will be Christmas =)
Merry Christmas Everyone =)

Now Luke is at Bishan MRT , Once he is reaching CCK , i will be going down to CCK MRT =)
Going to Alicia House to Ton for the night with Luke , Chow Chin And His Small Group =)
Not sure going to do what but think it will be fun ...
First time ton with so many people ... =)
Usually only 2-3 including me nia ...
Left $15 for both top up and sat ...
Thinking of no money for later how ... !
Just now which is 10 min ago , parent and brother went for supper ...
Mother actually gave me $10 for later before she go =)
Thx mum =)
And to Thx God for providing when he know what i lack of ... =)

Apologize to Carresa for rejecting a game of bad ...
But i am sick so can't make it ...

Think tomorrow's dinner will be the same old style ... -.- Boring !
Alone there as ever ...
All adult or children nia ...

The month is coming to an end and the result of whether i going sec 5 will be released soon i think ...
Since the school is starting so i think should be released result soon bah ...
No matter what the result are , whether go up or not ...
I will still remember what Mr Chin And Mr Chng have done for me =)
And with God , i keep in mind that whatever that is happening , God has his reasons =)

Will post what we do on my next post ... =)
Think it will be an enjoyable night =)
Woo Hoo =)

Depress

2008-12-23T10:19:00.000-08:00

Sorry for not posting for the past few weeks ...
But just lost lots of things in me that spoil everything that i want to do ...
Confidence , Courage , Faith , Joy , Peace , Hope and Some other ...
Now i can just hope that Mr Chin And Mr Chng success in appealing for me ...

Really want to Thank them for doing so much for me and yet i did not do anything ...
Whether i going sec 5 or not is depended on them ... =)

CCA Camp next week , thinking how to face my teacher as i promise that i will go sec 5 ...
Haiz , Loss Love From Friends And So On ...
Felt very depress , stress T.T
Applied courses , the one i want all at east -.- !
No choice but to choose west courses ...

During the camp , first night , was writing encouragement card for the team ...
Suddenly felt pain in my left arm , when i look at it , saw 3 big hole ?
Was thinking what cause this and so disgusting ...
Can't sleep well during the night cause when touch something , will felt the pain ...
Msg you about this to get some comfort but you did not ...
Even until now , its still there but now is worse ...
Currently also having Flu -.- ! Zzzz ... Felt so terrible T.T
Hope that both will be heal over some time ...
Before Camp perhaps ?

Thx Mr Chin And Mr Chng for what you two have done =)

Leaving For Camp

2008-12-14T16:34:00.000-08:00

Leaving for camp in about 1 hour times ...
After posting this post , i will go and double check the things already ...
Won't be posting for quite a while from now ...
Even at this last few mins , to hear some words from you ' My Friend ' ...
Perhaps you don't understand what words to say to me anymore ...
But still if you coming to read this post ...
I would like to say

'Good Bye =) Leaving for camp le . Sorry but i just want to let you know that i would still want to be friends with you so don't forget about me =) Your action tells me that you would be happier with your current friends and things that it would be better if i don't disturb you anymore . If you really though so , tell me and i would do as you wish =) Perhaps if you would forget to read this post once i post and msg you cause i can't remind you at night . But hope you can understand what i am going through and understand me =) See You , if there is still hope to be friends =)'

All Right people !
Leaving soon so must double check the items ...
N level result is thursday afternoon , going to get it straight after camp .
Although i am very scare but somehow i just can't get myself to the extent of very scare going ITE ...
Perhaps God's will is that i would pass ? =)
I think is because he provide me the peace and let me felt safe and not afraid =)
All i can say is I Have Never Regret Accepting Christ =)
Even if i fail , God must have his reason for everything and i would follow what he is giving to me =)
Think i would stop here cause i running out of time =)

Good Bye Everyone =) Blue Tribe Will Win =)

Anyone who is interested to go for Christmas bash , a Christmas performances on 20 Dec !
Pls Tell Me Before Friday Night , Msg Me Or Leave A Tag Will Do , Of Cause With Your Name -.-

Negative

2008-12-11T10:20:00.000-08:00

Don't know why but things has been negative to me this few days ...
Expience stomachache for the whole of afternoon and evening ...
Best friend ignore me ...
Parent went out ...
No one take care of me except God ...
Next week N level , afraid of poor results and go ITE ...
Need comfort and encouragement from best friend ...
And there you ignore me and go out or even spend time with him ...
Are you still my best friend ? or not ?
Perhaps i have been unreasonable to you but you make me to ...
Why is it so hard to even talk to you now ?
Always when i called you , you would be with him and even chatting with him no matter what things you do , would included him inside ...
When i msg you , ask you something , most of the time you would not reply until i called you ...
Is it because you want to hide things from me ?
We been best friend since sec 2 and agreed to be honest with each other to be close ...
But now , you changed and after i said you for the past 3 weeks , you did not change at all ...
Saw a show yesterday , 'i would understand and just do as you wish' , i have feeling too , i am a human too ...
Now you are like a complete 2 different person ...
You just break your own record , watching movie with someone that you know for only 1 and a half months ...
Where has your understanding went to ?
Or am i was just been use by you to help you during hard times until now ?
Looks like it does not matter now anyway ...
No matter what i said now would not change anything ...

All i can say is if you continue like that , our friendship may flew off ...
To think that you would not even bother to come and read my blog as you are too busy to do this ...
A bit no point to post it but i just want to share my thinking out since no one i would share it to ...

2 years of friendship is in your hands ...
Destroy it or not , your choice ...
I tried to hold it since the start of november and disappoint me all the way until now ...
I run out of energy to hold it anymore ...

Sorry to say this but I Give Up !
If i continue , you would think that i am unreasonable and so on ...
I still respect you and therefore i did not end this myself but to let you yourself do it ...
To think that the only way to be back is that you would become the old one i know ...
But looks like i am running out of time for you ...
As results are coming out and you leaving secondary school ...
If i pass N levels , will you be the one of them i share the joy with ? Or are you busy with your friends and the new one ...
Once you leave , my timetable and yours would be different and i don't think that we can even communicate anymore ...
Maybe i just too naive , people said that some things can't be the same again ...

By the end of this month ,
Would it be a farewell ? Or back as usual ?

1 Word To Describe

2008-12-10T10:27:00.000-08:00

Sorry people for not updating for a long time ...
All i can say over the last few days are just unhappiness and so on ...

1 more word to describe is :

Lonely ! =( Lonely ! =( Lonely ! =(
Lonely ! =( Lonely ! =( Lonely ! =(
Lonely ! =( Lonely ! =( Lonely ! =(
Lonely ! =( Lonely ! =( Lonely ! =(
Lonely ! =( Lonely ! =( Lonely ! =(

Next week would be YI camp and N level results released !
I need comfort and there you do nothing !
Can't you be more understanding ? T.T

5 days left to YI camp and you still don't understand me despite 3 weeks of unhappiness chat ! T.T
I have lost my words ~~~

A Reflection Sunday

2008-11-30T06:25:00.000-08:00

Sort out everything and prepare to be use by God once again ...
Thx to Sis Vivian

I am going to start afresh to my spiritual walk with God ... =)

Genting Trip

2008-11-28T08:12:00.001-08:00

Yoz ... Just back from my Genting Trip ...

People involve :
Sis Vivian ( Lao Da )
Dorcas
Joey
Wei Hao
Chow Chin
And lastly me =)

24 Nov :

Wake at 5.20 to get ready to leave Chow Chin house ...
White Card all these things =)
Went downstair at 6.10 cause we meeting sis vivian at 6.15 because her father is driving =)
Thx uncle =)
Reach Kranji at 6.30 , punctual since we meeting at 6.30 =)
BUT Wei Hao , Joey , Dorcas is earlier , sitting down there waiting -.-
Nvm ... Took bus , Change bus until JB ...
Brought tickets to go KL first =)
Went Mac for breakfast , The price is much cheaper down there too =)
Then while eating , Doing draw lots to decide partner to sit with in the bus ...
The paper , written numbers in it with have a pair of 1 , 2 , 3 each ...

This is the arrangement :
1-Sis Vivian/Joey
2-Chow Chin/Dorcas
3-Wei Hao/Me =)

Dorcas freak out i think ...
In the bus talk alot ...
When reach KL at about 12.20 , Brought tickets to go Genting =)
Change partner again ...
Before that , went to A & W to eat something ...
Ordered root beer float (vanilla ice cream ) ...
Then was rushing because of lack of time ...
Boarded bus , No time to draw lots ...

Sitting Arrangement :
Wei Hao/Joey
Sis Vivian/Dorcas
Chow Chin/Me

Reach halfway up , alighted and took cable car ...
Since that it is almost same price as bus and they all are talking it first time ...
So ... Took it and went up ...
Reached the hotel at 2+ , seat down on the floor in a corner since Sis Vivian is checking in ...
Played cheat with the rest and soon , Sis Vivian came join us , Needed wait for 200+ people first .
Slack at starbucks ... Felt asleep because the rest except Wei Hao went walk walk ...
Then finally at 4+ , Our turn to get our room ...
Drop our things in the room and left right after that ...
Went to Shop in the plaza and watched Quarantine (Horror Show) ...
Dorcas was afraid until she cover her face with her jacket ...
Went back hotel after that and to do QT ...

25 Nov :

Wake at 8+ , Went for breakfast buffet with Wei Hao while others have something else ...
Since only got 2 entrance ticket in only ...
Meet up after that and brought theme park ticket , went in and start playing =)
Went a lot of games like SpaceShot , CockScrew , And many more ...
Went back rest since it is raining and met up with Chow Chin's mother ...
Went have dinner together ...
Went back hotel , rest and went off to the haunted adventure ...
Lots of things happen inside as in they all tio scare while Sis Vivian was laughing all the way ...
In the middle of the game , Something very funny happen ...

Wei Hao , as the first guy , stop suddenly , because he don't dare to move on ...
Then Chow Chin , said ' Why stop ? Nvm , i go . '
It was a turn that they stop at and Chow Chin turn , straight away move back ...
Because there is a statue there and Chow Chin tio scare ...
Hahas ...
Went back hotel to do QT , And rested for the night ! ...

26 Nov :

Wake at 10+ , since Chow Chin and Sis Vivian went breakfast buffet this time so can wake late =)
Checked out and took cable car down and took bus to KL ...
Checked in , and went to a big shopping centre ...
Saw 1 shirt and a jacket that is so nice ... but can't afford both T.T
Watch second movie , Twilight , That show is very nice ...
Something happen before the show start ...
Chow Chin went in with his smelly leg ...( Somehow his leg is smelly... )
Talk a lot of crap and fooled around in cinema hall ...
The show suppose to start at 11.30 , But it still not showing ...
Until 11.45 , Then ask Wei Hao to go out and check ...
Once he went out , The light switched off ... Laughed =)
End at 2+ , Went back and do QT and Knock out ...

27 Nov :

Went to Twin-Tower in the morning after having breakfast ...
Went to the bridge in the middle and took photo with the view of the place ... Nice =)
Went to shop around all the shopping centre around that area and went back at evening time =)
Went back to the same shopping centre and decide to buy the jacket instead of the shirt =)
Dinner at a nearby coffee shop ...
Soon , Sis Vivian was named Lao Da =)
Then putted facial mask on everyone ... suggested by Lao Da !
First time doing this , Felt very ... !
Nvm , but it brought laughter to everyone =)
Soon , Everyone is tired and knockout =)

28 Nov :

Morning , after breakfast , checked out and left for JB !
Draw lots again =)

1-Wei Hao/Me
2-Lao Da/Joey
3-Chow Chin/Dorcas

Same thing happen , in the end , changed into Lao Da and Wei Hao take the individual ...
Chow Chin and Me / Joey and Dorcas
Reached JB around 5+ , Went to buy donuts and to have dinner ...
Some argument happen after dinner ...
Left for City Square and buy some things ...
Left for Singapore after that =)
Some bad thing happen again ...
Chow Chin tio caught bring too much bubble gum back and tio kept away ...
The bubble gum was for this small group but looks like its gone ...
Took Joey's father's car back home ! ...
Thx uncle =)

Overall :

To me , all these is so fun and i hope that i can have it again =)
so much bad things happen and we should move on ...

I know that i been disliked during this trip ...
Action betrayed the looks ...
Whether is it true or not , decided to stay away from you as you wish ...

Good Nitez Everybody !
Tomorrow is Saturday =)
Thx To Lao Da For This Trip =)

Genting

2008-11-23T09:13:00.000-08:00

Yoz ... Currently at Chow Chin house ...
Leaving Singapore in less than 6 hour time =)
Going Genting with Wei hao , Chow chin , Sis Vivian , Joey and Dorcas ...
Think this would be a great trip ...
Will be back on friday night ... =)
Can't wait ...
But still i must thank my parent for allowing me to go for both event
Genting and YI camp ...
At first , i am only allow to go for one only ...
But still thank my parent for allowing me =)
Although i have not done anything for them , but still they let me =)
Thank =)

Will post the fun when i come back =)
See you all =)

Unhappy

2008-11-22T08:53:00.001-08:00

Don't know whats wrong with me ...
Today just felt a bit pissed off and impatient -.-
Think a lot of people is unhappy with me le T.T
Sorry to the people =(
Don't need you to forgive me but i only hope that it would not spoil your mood ...

Why Is Everything So Hard

2008-11-21T09:44:00.000-08:00

Why is everything so hard ? T.T
Suddenly felt that everything become hard to solve or understand ...
I am very very very tired now !

Genting Trip in 2 day =) Hope during this period i can relax =)

Busy

2008-11-17T11:06:00.000-08:00

Looks like my time table for december is fully packed ...
Left with a few days ...
Just want to have a good chat over the phone with anyone T.T

Genting =) , YI Camp =) , Christmas Bash =)

Needed Scream

2008-11-14T10:29:00.000-08:00

Want to scream my heart out !
Want to scream my heart out !
Want to scream my heart out !
Want to scream my heart out !
Want to scream my heart out !
Want to scream my heart out !
Want to scream my heart out !
Want to scream my heart out !
Want to scream my heart out !
Want to scream my heart out !

Screaming

2008-11-13T10:09:00.000-08:00

Went for training ...
Have dinner with cell group member ...
Then went to play the 5 ping pong ball game -.-
With Chow Chin , Jia Qi , Natalie and lastly Solomon ...
Zzzz ... So hard to win -.- and yet Solomon and Natalie can win ...
I only played once , not so bad unlike someone played more than me and never win at all ...
Don't want say who arh ...
Chow Chin just watch at the back never play at all ...
Opps ... Looks like i revealed the one who never win at all XD
Yup ... Is Yap Jia Qi ... =)
Went to mac after that , using Chow Chin laptop to play Horror game ...
Never look at it then tio suan say i scare ...
Sorry >.< is i can't not i don't want or any other thing ...
Went home after that =)

Felt asleep after bathing ...
Just wake up ...

Don't know why , just feel like screaming out of the sudden ...
Not sure how i feel now but just felt like screaming ...
But i not like HSM 3 , have school to scream in ...
So can't anyhow scream ...
But seriously , Felt like screaming ...
Was enjoying in the afternoon but not now ... =( Sorry to people who i neglect to ...
I JUST WANT TO SCREAM TO RELAX MYSELF ?
MY HEART FELT LIKE SCREAMING TOO ...
GOD HELP ME PLS =(

Birthday

2008-11-12T10:38:00.000-08:00

Hahas ... My birthday today =)
Quite enjoyable today =)
Went movie in the morning , CCA in the afternoon and celebration at night =)
So tired now ...
Will rest early bah ...

Thx everyone for your msg ! =)

Brithday

2008-11-11T17:36:00.000-08:00

Looks like today is the day !
My yearly event =)
Will share my fun next post =)
Preparing to go out ...
Can't sleep last night until quite late ...
Hahas =)

Tired

2008-11-09T10:15:00.000-08:00

All right ... no more hiding ...
Even now mr Wei Hao also can see i got problem le ...
Will send testimony to him before the coming saturday ...
Felt so low this few days ...
Don't know what is happening to me ...
Haiz ... T.T
Reading blog now , link here and there , seen lots of things that i finally know now ...
Compare to me is a bit far from them ...
Very blur now especially this few days !

Help me , God ! =)

Blur on Saturday

2008-11-08T18:01:00.000-08:00

Yesterday , A saturday , again in service , would want to sabo Wei Hao into it .
Instead of he getting it , i'm in -.-
First time doing this , a bit of nervous ...
But still try my best to cover up the nervousness in me ...

That morning have CCA .
Prepare everything and left my house .
Until when i was about to reach South View LRT , then i notice i forget to bring my Bible .
Haiz , What is wrong with me that morning ...
So blur ...
Sorry to people if i have ignore you =(
First time being so blur ...

Anger

2008-11-07T09:43:00.000-08:00

Sorry for not posting for quite a while !
But this few days , a bit of a low for me ...
Lots of things or perhaps everything ? did not went well for me ...
So rather a lot of times have a bad mood ...
So pls understand =)

Needed comfort in this period ... =)

Myself And God

2008-11-04T09:36:00.000-08:00

A short post because i am very tired >.<
Went to a workshop in church , late to meet Wei Hao .
In the workshop , BRX ask to write a name that represent ourselves and a logo to go along .
Was thinking of what to write and back to the past .
Lack of courage again to let people know about it ... T.T
Until After Jun Jie , Start of Jeremy Turn to share , my mind was blank as i am going to be the next one .
Was thinking ' Ahhh , Help me ' .
A voice came in and said ' Just do it to start off a small peace in your mind '
Was my turn and i just took the courage and say it all out .
(Logo = A sun which represent God)
I said ' I draw this logo because i do not want my pass to keep haunting me every night and may God be the light to shine on my life so that i won't remember any of it anymore ' .
Sat down straight after this .
Felt Relax and Much More Peaceful inside me =)

Thx God For Everything =) You Are The Best =)

Sian

2008-11-03T09:26:00.001-08:00

Late for meeting friend for basketball -.-
Receive a phone call from CC to go out ...
Saw JiaQi at the CCK Mrt platform , waiting for her friend ...
Receive a msg to go out also from a different person ...
Rejected them , because of School ...
Quite bore today .

Hope tomorrow i have lots of things to post about the sharing training =)

Need Comfort !

2008-11-02T10:21:00.000-08:00

Today , to me is a day when i need comfort the most !
A lot of things did not turn out as what i expected and storing of anger ...
Can anyone tell me some ways to release anger ?

Needed stand strong ...

Dance Audition

2008-11-01T11:55:00.000-07:00

Feeling very terrible now -.-
Liquid coming out from my nose .... Zzzz ...
At least i enjoyed myself today =)
Morning , went to school for CCA ...
End at 2 , chiong to Church without having any food .
Think only have 2 mentors and thats all ... =)
After service , have Cell Group Photo ...

And straight start Audition for Dance during Christmas Bash ...
Was very nervous , maybe because of my lack of confidence?
Hahas ... Think i screwed up the Audition ...
Forget the second-half Dance Step =(
Haiz ... Never Mind =)
If it is God's will to let me Dance on that Day , he will fulfill it .
Tried my best =)

Midnight Basketball

2008-10-31T11:20:00.000-07:00

All the way at home until Chow Chin called me to go lot 1 and have MOF!
Waiting for him to done with his doctor appointment at my house downstair...
End at about 9.50?
Chiong to lot 1 , see whether the MOF is still open...
Reached at about 10.05 , too late... closed =(
Went around finding a place to settle down and have some food but almost all are closed.
Still have pasta mania left open with about 20 min to closing time.
Went to the coffee shop at the bus interchange to have some duo hua...
Saw Darius and Vidas there... chat a while with them...
Darius went back to his TB ! Left 3 of us...
Decided to play basketball .
So went back home and take the basketball and reach the court at 11.20PM...
Went home at 1AM...
Chow Chin now sleeping like a Pig already... Hahas =)

Good Nitez Chow Chin =)

2008-10-30T09:16:00.000-07:00

Disney's "High School Musical" phenomenon leaps onto the big screen in "High School Musical 3: Senior Year," which finds high school seniors Troy (Zac Efron) and Gabriella (Vanessa Hudgens) facing the prospect of being separated from one another as they head off in different directions to college. Joined by the rest of the Wildcats, they stage an elaborate spring musical reflecting their experiences, hopes and fears about their future. With incredible new music and exciting dance numbers designed to take maximum advantage of the big screen, this motion picture extravaganza delivers plenty of high-energy entertainment from East High's talented ensemble.

Mini Outing

2008-10-30T09:05:00.000-07:00

All Right...!
First time posting , still a noob .
But still needed to try my best posting one .
Not to waste friend's effort !

Many Thx To Yap Jia Qi =)

Today happen quite a number of things .
Slacking in the morning ...
Until around 1.45 , start preparing to go out .
Meeting Siew Yu , Wei Yang and Shi Qi at CCK control station at 2 .
Saw Cheong Seng with them at control station .
Once again , Siew Yu is late again...At least i not as late as her =X
A small group outing actually , watching HSM 3 ( High School Musical 3 )
A mini outing ...
Quite nice...Lots of laughter in the cinema...Enjoyable =)
Called Solomon at around 4+...
Knowing that i do not know him for long but still asked him whether he is free...
Went to Fajar and play basketball with him...
Joined Peggy and Qi Jun for dinner at Bukit Panjang Subway...
And reached home at about 9.45...

Today was enjoyable , able to play with someone who i don't really know =)
Thank God for the brother ! SoloMon =)